Yep, that's right.. I'm officially on maternity leave. I was actually on leave from January 30th. In Japan, maternity leave begins 6 weeks before baby is born and end 8 weeks after. BUT after maternity leave, there's something called childcare leave (almost everybody takes it) that lasts about a year (depends on each person and whether there are slots in daycare or not).
The funny thing is that I got the flu the last day I was meant to teach (it started 2 days before that). So I missed saying goodbye to half of the students I've been teaching AND didn't get to turn in all of the graded papers for those classes.
All I have to say is that maternity leave would be great if I had someone to watch Touma for a few hours a couple times a week. Just so I could get some things done... like: get a hair cut, go to the dentist, get a massage (or even just see a chiropractor!), and sort out baby stuff. I have lots of baby clothes to wash and sort and try to figure out. But with a little dude around it is really hard. He likes to "help" sort. He also wants a lot of mommy attention. Then by the time he is in bed... I'm exhausted so all I want to do is veg (ie watch the Olympics) or go to bed early.
With all of this extra time, I've also become a lot less forgiving when it comes to some of Japan's "idiosyncracies."Such as the fact that daycare is publicly provided... except it is in very short supply in urban areas like Tokyo and Yokohama. BUT the government of Japan keeps spouting all sorts of nonsense about people needing to have more babies (the birthrate is well under replacement levels in Japan) and yet they do nothing to help people actually WANT to have more babies. Instead, there's just a lot of rhetoric and posturing and money always gets funneled into elderly programs because those are the voting constituents that seem to "count."
Then there is public space. Libraries are less friendly places for kids in Japan than shopping malls. Yup. The kids areas of libraries always have big signs about being quiet and they have no walls separating the kids section from the other sections. So... when toddlers make noise, as they are apt to do, a staff member (usually trying to speak very broken English and acting as if they are "sorry") comes over to kick you out. At the same library this has happened twice. Once because a grouchy old man kept complaining about the little ones, despite the fact that there were loads of open seats in quieter areas, and once this past week. My friend and I had corralled our kids in an area so they wouldn't run around and they couldn't escape. Yes, they were a bit noisy, but when the lady came over, she didn't actually identify the issue right away (the noise) and her explanation was that the area is "public space" so we needed to take our kids elsewhere. Apparently being taxpayers in Japan doesn't actually allow you to use a facility if you might have kids. I also asked if anyone had actually complained about the noise and she said no one had and that the staff had decided to tell us to move somewhere else. Other solutions she offered: corral the kids in the nursing room and let them be noisy there (um... a room with a chair and a changing table for two active toddlers to "run around" in?) or go back to the main kids area where there's nothing stopping them from running all over the place, into other sections and actually disturbing MORE people. So, I had a little go at her, said that Japan pretends to care about kids, but they don't actually care at all. Then we took the kids outside, where Touma threw snow and climbed the outside steps until it was time to actually go home.
So, maternity leave is just more time to try to entertain Touma and try not to lose my mind at the stupid rules and annoyances that make up everyday life in Japan. I think I'll take Touma to our regular library (smaller and closer to our house), where so far we haven't been told off yet when he runs all over the place.
2 comments:
Oh dear!! That was ranty but sounds very well-justified...I've always thought raising kids there would be helluva difficult due to social mores...makes me ever so glad to be here, and have somewhere like Playcentre to go to once a week where today we had a colony of face-painted rabbits harvesting carrots from the garden, making beads out of paper, playing shopkeeper, making bracelets, and running totally amok on the playground. And last week we were going to paint some cardboard boxes outside, which morphed (as Playcentre sessions so often do) into a totally different activity, led by the kids - painting any areas of exposed skin on themselves! Love it. If I won lotto, I'd fly you and Touma and Shimon over here tomorrow (or maybe just Touma, give you a break) so he could enjoy being a kid in a more unfettered manner, and you could enjoy him enjoying himself. And wish we lived down the street so I could take him for some afternoons for you or something so you could get a few jobs done...very lucky where we live, if I were in your shoes could pass mine off to a handful of lovely people for the afternoon to do those sorts of jobs. Library thing sounds so patently ridiculous. Are there classes or casual sessions you can take the kids to there like we have here? Like for example there's a program at one of the rec centres (pool, gym etc - council owned) in town called Tumble Times, where they get out lots of mats in a gymnasium, and balance beams and all sorts, and basically the kids can just go for it (with parent help if needed)? Sounds like Touma needs something like that. Promise, if I win lotto, you are getting an all-expenses paid trip to NZ. Or Alaska for that matter...he will have loved it so much at home, space to run round, nature, etc...Hope you get a break sometime soon to do some jobs...impossible to sort clothes etc with a toddler...and am sure Shimon works very hard but remember you need a break too, see if he could take him to the park or somewhere fun on the weekend for a couple hours...xoxo and make sure sometime in there you put your feet up.
Hmm, yes, that does sound rather infuriating. What if you just straight up REFUSE to leave? Too confrontational? Wish you could come to our library instead! I appreciate our children's area with a little play kitchen and plenty of things other than books to distract on a yucky day.
I assume Touma was in daycare before leave started? Is there anyway he can go back just once or twice a week for a couple hours so that you can have some time. I know all too well how being at home with kiddos does not actually allow you to get anything done!!
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