TYPECASTING SUCKS!!!

Yeah, I'll get around to the title of this entry in a minute...

Once again, I managed to find a guy that I liked. Oh, wait... the amazing thing about this guy is he liked me too... and he made me feel like I was someone special, like I was a person to hold onto... like I was meant to be with him. AND... then... somehow, just like all the other times in the past... it's been yanked away. It's a big - gotcha!!

Yeah, so Mike... not ready for anything serious... we don't know each other well enough... he wants to "take a step back to move forward" which is fine and good... but for once... for once, I really don't want to.... I don't want to be "the friend".

My life up until this point has been as "the friend"... high school, college, and Japan. So much so that I've pretty much perfected the role, I think I would win an Oscar in the category of being "Just Friends". And I'm tired. I am so ready to be with someone. I LOVE my friends!! I do... I may not say it enough... but I do. BUT I have enough friends... for once in my life, I deserve more.

But not this time... nope... once again, it's not meant to be. Only this time it hurts a lot worse than all the other times... because this time... I actually thought that Mike was different or special or something. But really... he's like the rest of them... just wants to be a friend. But for once, I might change my mold... and tell him no. Because my friends tally is all full up... I don't want another friend right now.

Yeah... so I'm having a bit of a shit time right now. Just needed to vent and let you, my friends, know. Thanks for listening... I wish I could have a hug from you all.